A morning of horror

It isn’t like, I don’t like taking bath. Nor that I have anything against cleanliness.

But a cold water bath on a cloudy morning in Bangalore ???? And wait, what about all that ‘Go Green’ stuff. I am trying to actually save water here. Is that too much to ask ?

So I cried. Tried hiding under dirty clothes. Stuck myself with bed corner.
Nevertheless it was scheduled time of bath and the lady of the house won’t let me go away without it.

I could have tried giving, 'it-hurts' look, huh. Guess its too complex expression for my face.

Final Laugh

I got a company on the vegetarian-front on my last visit to china. To have discussion on non-veg vs veg food is always endless, sometimes funny and never satisfying.

Once we were having dinner with chinese colleagues and it started again. Me and my friend were the only fighters from veg-front.

Chinese colleague: "so you dont eat non vegetarian food ?"
Me: "no."
Cc: "not even chicken ?"
Me: "NO ! it IS considered non vegetarian."
Cc: "ohhh" (and continued on his chicken tikka)
(3-4 minutes pause and some other discussion)
another Cc: "so why dont you eat chicken? You dont like it?"
My-bro-in-arms: "oh yes i like chicken!"
(i was like 'huh dude ! What are you doing??')
He continued: "in fact i love chicken, and thats why i dont eat them."

:)

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Take it easy

Found a nice post by Pritish Nandi in ToI hardcopy. Here is the link for 'softcopy'. Worth reading.

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/extraordinaryissue/entry/taking-it-easy

Hope you will enjoy the New Year !

Half Knowledge

One of my friend in Mumbai is very enthusiastic for issues of national integrity. Often he gets involved in teaching Hindi to people who can't speak it. And most of the times he finds enough 'students'. One day one of his student was asked to show what he learned by few of his friends-cum-colleagues. Now since the student was new on Hindi learnings, he came up with the best he could,

“दिव्या भारती की ख़ुदकुशी की गयी थी |"

(English Translation: Divya Bharti was suicide-ed!)

New Launch

Two weeks ago I started a new blog to put the content for reading which I liked from net or fwd emails. My idea was to put everything that I like to read including quotes, stories, jokes anything for reading. But so far most of the items have been only good jokes.

I decided to put a post everyday(only on working days!), and so far I have not missed any day starting from 5th June. Lets hope everybody get their daily dose of good read regularly.

Cheers.

An Incident

Raat ke 2 baje patni apne pati ko gahri neend se jagati hai.
"Sunoji! Koi darwaje par hai!"
"Itni raat gaye kaun aa gaya? Theek hai, dekhta hoon."
Pati uth kar darwaje tak jaata hai aur usey kholta hai.

Dekhta hai ki eksharaabi moosladhaar baarish mein khada hai.
Sharaabi bola, "Bhai sahab!Jara dhakka laga doge?"
"Dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai?" pati bhadka,
"Raat ke 2 baj rahe hain!".

Pati darwaza jor se band karta hai aur wapis bistar par aa kar let jaata hai.
"Kaun tha?" patni ne poocha.
"Koi sharaabi tha. Dhakka lagane ko bol raha tha."
"Tumne kiya?" wo boli.
"Nahin! Raat ke 2 baj rahe hain aur baahar itni tez baarish ho rahi hai!"
"Lagta hai tum apna samay bhool gaye.
Yaad karo jab teen mahine pahle hamari gaadi kharaab ho gayi thi aur un do aadmiyon ne hamari madad kithi.
Mere khyal se tumhein uski madad karni chahiye."
"Tum sahi kah rahi ho. Mujhe sharm aani chahiye.
Main abhi baahar jaa karuski madad karta hoon."

Pati dhuandhar baarish mein ghar se bahar nikalta hai.
Andhere mein wo ussharaabi ko dhoondta hai.
"Hello! O bhai shahab! Aap abhi bhi yehanho?"

"Haan" ek kone se aawaz aayi.

"Kya tumhein abhi bhi dhakka lagwana hai?" pati bola.

"Haan! Shukriya.!" andhere kone se sharaabi ki aawaz aayi.

"Tum ho kahan?" pati ne poocha.

Jawab mein sharabi ki awaaz aayi





"Yahan! Idhar jhoole par."


*drag between the tow "" to know !

what a mail I got today. May be the best Friday mail in a long time.
Cheers to all Bewadas !
.

Donating Accessories

One of my colleague today had an idea for Eye Donation. (Remember that ad of Aishwarya Rai in which she asked to donate your eyes after your death, so that someone can see the world from your eyes? Ye ankhen hai duniya ki sabse khubsurat aankhen! that one.) So I accompanied the colleague to one of the Eye Hospital. The lady at reception made her fill up some form and asked me if I also wanted to donate my eyes.






I asked, "Do I need to donate my spectacles also if I donate my eyes?"

I didn't get the form.

:P

.

One line about one one-liner

We all must have received one-liners about recession but this one in today's newspaper is the best that i 've received.

"The financial situation at the moment is so bad that women are now marrying for Love!"

.

Family That Strikes Together

It was the vacation time and we were all together in the afternoon at our family "hinchaka". Dad were giving advise on something and my sister was arguing pointlessly.
Dad got irritated and said at last, "listen, i have seen more diwalis than you."

Sister struk, "Papa, you may have seen more diwalis than me, but i have put on more firecrackers than you!"

poor papa!

==============================

Unlike me, my sis hates plain milk. so when she gets up early in the morning to study her medical epics, mom prepares her a big glass full of milk.
irritated enough, one day my sis said, "Mom, i dont want it. nobody is going to be benefited from that milk."

Mom said, "Bachubhai will get benefited! now drink it all."
Bachubhai is our milk-supplier.

poor my sis!

==============================

it was the saturday afternoon and i prepared the tea, with the tea powder we got from OOTY some times back.
i prepared and got some afternoon snacks and set it all for purvi.
while she was having the first sip, i said "that tea is from OOTY", expecting some good feedback for this once-in-a-week-tea-maker-hubby.

"Oh, its still hot"

poor me!
.

Short and Sweet

Some of the jokes i liked while reading on net, receiving in mail or via sms.

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begger: give me 5 rupees mam.
mam: you are so young and healthy. you should do some work and earn instead of begging.
begger: mam, you are also so beautiful that you should be in film industry.
mam: ok. ok. i dont have change. keep this 10 rupees.

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judge: order...order...whoever makes a noise now will be put outside of court.
"hip hip hureey........" yelled the accused.

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person a: "i have invented a thing by which a person can see through a wall".
person b: "wow !! what is it?"
person a: "window"

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lili murdered her husband and court ordered her death sentence.
lili said to judge "pity my lord....i am a widow."

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conductor to passenger: "Mr, you cant smoke in bus."
passenger: "But i m not smoking."
conductor: "You have cigarette in your mouth.'
passenger: "so what? i have shoes in my legs but you see i m not walking"

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husband: "i have brought this diamond necklace for your birthday!"
wife: "wow! but you promised a car"
husband: "yes, but i couldnt find a duplicate car"

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Munnabhai: "Circuit, Why this dog is shaking its tail?"
Circuit: "Come on bhai, now tail cannot shake the dog no"?

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A Kanjoos to his son: "You idiot, before marriage only you have spent 1200 rupees on her."
son "Sorry dad, but she had only that much money."

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******HINDI******
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what did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?.
Aaila!!!! kisine mera pocket maar liya


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5 Lovable wrds-"I will top my class"
4 pleasant wrds-"I will work hard''
3 sweet wrds-"i love studying''
2 spl wrds-"my books"
1 important wrd- "later "!!


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Name the animal which is exactly like dog but walks on three legs ?

What is the answer.?!!

Langda kutta


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Thief with knife: Tera paisa nikaal!!
Man: Do you know who I am? I'm a Politician.
Thief: Acchha? To phir MERA paisa nikaal. :-)


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Nepali ko chirag mila, jin ne 3 wish diye.
Nepali: 1. Ek bada bangla. 2. osh me khoob daulatwala aadmi 3. uskha gurkha humko banao.

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